It can be tough to put animosity, hurt feelings and other personal issues aside, but it’s crucial for the wellbeing of your children. Newly separated couples need to learn how to work together and communicate. Of course, this is nearly always easier said than done.

To help you steer a way through to an amicable co-parenting relationship, parenting experts have put together five golden rules to remember. These are the most important things to remember, whatever happens in daily family life.

Let’s take a look:

Rule #1: Find a way to communicate

Establishing a line of communication is the first challenge you’ll face as newly separated parents. You need to find a method of communicating that works for you both, whether that’s WhatsApp messages, emails or phone calls. Once you find the right fit, you can start to settle into a rhythm of communicating with each other.

Rule #2: Never talk when you’re angry or upset

A message sent in anger at an emotional moment can destroy your new co-parenting relationship in an instant. If there’s something you want to address, vent to a friend or family member (safely out of your child’s earshot) and speak to your ex about it once you’ve calmed down.

Rule #3: Don’t talk badly about your ex at home

This can be one of the hardest rules to stick to, especially when emotions are running high. But it really is important, as parenting expert Bec Jones explains:

“It’s incredibly difficult for children to be put in the middle of a separation and talking badly about their other parent to, or in earshot of them, can be confusing and can harm their relationship with you both,”
“If you’re able to speak to your children about their other parent in a kind and if possible, positive way, you are helping them to cope with your separation and your ex is more likely to reciprocate.

“While your romantic relationship might be over, your parenting one isn’t and your children love you both – so by being negative about their other parent, you are putting them in a really difficult and confusing position.”

So, do your best to save up your opinions on your ex for drinks with friends, outside the home.

Rule #4: Treat your ex like a business partner

This means being respectful, mature, polite and in a way, professional, in how you treat your former spouse. Imagine that you’re running a business together, and that business is raising your child to be happy, healthy and loved.

This approach can really help when you’re trying to manage conflicting emotions and work together for the good of your children.

Rule #5: Aim to act in the best interests of your child

And of course, the most important rule of all is to put your children first. Before making decisions or taking action, ask yourself – is this in your child’s best interests? You may need to do some soul searching and be really honest about your motivations, so that you can push self-interest aside for the wellbeing of your family. It’s difficult, but you can do it.

Need expert legal advice to support you through divorce? Whether it’s money worries or children’s issues, our expert Liverpool family lawyers are here to help. Get in touch with the Tracey Miller team by calling 0151 515 3036 or emailing info@traceymillerfamilylaw.com.