How does nesting work?
Each family will have their own arrangements that suit their children’s needs best, as well as their own circumstances.
But in essence, nesting is where one parent stays in the family home with the children for part of the week. Then, part-way through the week, they swap places with their ex.
This gives both parents equal time with the children. The parents put up with the disruption of living in two different homes, so that the children can stay put. In some cases, the two parents may even move back to a shared flat. They’re living in the same homes, just not at the same time.
Speaking to the BBC, one parent embracing the nesting trend described it as a way to offer some degree of stability to their children. Niklas Björling from Stockholm said:
“We wanted to keep stability for the kids, and not just tear up everything all at once. The children could keep their home, school and friends as before,”
Divorce coach Tom Nash told iNews about another real-life example of the nesting trend in action:
“I know one family who have kept the family home this way. Both sets of in-laws live nearby and so each parent lives with their own parents half the week when they’re not looking after the children.”
But what do children feel about it? Another person featured in the BBC article was a woman whose parents divorced when she was 11. She talked about her experience of nesting, saying:
“It felt like a very dramatic thing when they first let me know that they were going to split up, and when I found out I didn’t have to move, that really helped me not freak out about the situation,” she says. “I was kind of kept in a safe little bubble whilst they were sorting out the break-up thing.”
How has the cost of living crisis affected the nesting trend?
The nesting trend has a few advantages for the children of divorced parents, especially in the short or medium term. Children can avoid the disruption and stress of moving, which could mean a new school and moving away from their friends.
And they’ll still get equal time with both of their parents, without the risk of arguments and disagreements over pick-up and drop-off times, and who gets access on what days.
But there’s also another key benefit, this time for divorced parents. Nesting offers a potential way to save money on living expenses and childcare costs. Nesting can also help divorced parents to cut court costs or fees related to selling the family home.
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